Being Autistic on the internet is hard…
Social media is confusing for me. Sometimes I’ll post something vulnerable and a 40-year-old adult will tell me I’m faking my diagnosis (no one has ever satisfactorily explained to me why someone would fake a diagnosis, but that is beside the point). Occasionally, when I’m scrolling through puppy pictures to cheer myself up, an algorithm will show me porn, which I find distressing (I’m very open about my asexuality, so you would think these expensive algorithms they would know that I won’t click on sexual content). I find most videos overstimulating unless they are specifically designed to be calming. Being on social media feels like being in a heist movie and trying to avoid one of those stereotypical laser alarm systems.
So why do I use social media? Social media was designed to keep people engaged. The more time a person spends on social media the more advertisements they see and the more data tech companies can mine, which is profitable for social media platforms. To keep people engaged, social media uses reward systems that create the neurotransmitter dopamine (Burhan and Moradzadeh, 2020). Scientists still know very little about the autistic brain, but some theorize that dopamine plays a role in some autism-related challenges. Dopamine reinforces behavior, and since Autistic brains may crave dopamine, social media could be even more attractive for Autistic people than it is for neurotypical people. Keep in mind, this is all theoretical and underresearched, so take it with a grain of salt.
I also use social media because it is a way for me to connect with other people. I am not one of those autistic people who find digital communiation easier than in-person communication. In fact, I’m the opposite. In-person, I have so much more information to help me deduce the tone of a statement, but on social media, I just assume a negative connotation to anything that is not overtly positive. I love discussing difficult subjects in person, but online people seem to take any point of disagreement as an opportunity to be mean. I still write about tough stuff on here, because most of my special interests fall into that category, but it doesn’t feel nearly as productive as it does in person.
Despite the communication challenges, I feel more connected over social media because I can talk to people with similar values who may be on the other side of the world. I took a few months off of social media entirely, but I logged back on after experiencing ableism at work. None of the connections I made at work came with the same freedom to be myself that connecting with the Autistic community does. One study found that autistic people report higher quality friendships over social media (van Schalkwyk et al., 2017), while another study found that these friendships do not mitigate loneliness (Mazurek, 2013). That’s pretty much where I’m at right now: happy with the connections I’ve made online but feeling lonely and frustrated that I can’t maintain my real-world relationships.
